School begins
Thursday, July 07, 2005 // 7:46 PM
Heyheyhey...
school has begun and its that time of the year when you finally realise how unfit you really are. yups. my NAPFA tests have begun also. Uggh. how i hat running 1.6... ... and doing sit ups, and pull ups, and running 4/100m in 11 secs... don't remind me. nothing can be as bad as that... i'd much rather do a dozen exam papers than run. heyheyhey... but being unfit does NOT mean that i'm out of shape as well... just really weak... yup, i'm a bronze holder, and proud of it. in fact i don't really enjoy sports much, unless i'm watching it. i mean everyone knows i'm a horrible player at basketball, and nobody throws me the ball anyway. Anyway i wish school never started. my so-called best friend of five years is like sort of not so close as we used to be. everything she does is with wynne, her partner in everything. and they don't understand. they don't know that i feel so so left out when they group up with their exco members. i know i'm not one of them... i know i'm not fit to be with them... and joselin just makes it even worse. she's not tactful, and makes me feel even worse next to her. they make me feel like i'm an outsider, like i'm too much of an embarassment to be seen with. sometimes i just feel like crying... i feel that i don't even have someone i can trust... someone i know will always be there for me... and it makes me feel empty inside... like there isn't anyone i can lean on... and i'm going to school with a mask, which hides all my pain... my sorrow... nobody ever understand... i have more depth than they think, not just the person they see i am....